The definition of "respect"

The other day I was praying and suddenly realized, I was talking to God in my usual rather casual, eager self as I lay down to go to sleep (I usually talk this way in the darkness and privacy at night after the day has ended) how informally I was addressing this King of Kings and great I Am. I caught myself winking and even pointing at Him and paused in embarrassment. Did I just do that to my God who sits on a high throne? And then I asked myself the question: was I being disrespectful?

Respect…I always know I need to show it to God, to my elders, really to everyone in general, but especially the elders and God. I always know and agree that showing “respect” is putting those above oneself, honoring them, submitting to their will even. But I always realized then that I associate containment with respect as well. Containment of self, which usually requires reservation of blunt gestures and behavior, talking in quieter tones, not show too much of my spastic side, and of course no vulgarity or show of natural humanness. All these are increased in degree depending on the eminence or status of the entity. And God is the highest of them all.

But then how does that coincide with the concept of God’s absolute love of His creation and His perfect knowledge and acceptance of us through Jesus? Doesn’t total acceptance mean acceptance of all flaws? He knows we are human; He does not expect us to be perfect and realizes that even more than we do sometimes. So why should I “contain” myself, any of myself, for the sake of “respect?” He knows all sides of me, accepts all sides of me, rejects the sin yes…but is full of grace and love.

When did containment become associated to me with respect? I wondered that. The education of the expectations of humans. I was raised well and was taught well in manners and what is to be expected in conduct with others. I value this education. And yes, humans define respect in association with containment, I think. Maybe it started in the 19^th Century when modesty and “children say nothing at the table” sort of attitude and conduct was expected and demanded. Or even before that with the Catholic Church. Maybe humans feel the need to suppress the obvious fact that we are so horribly imperfect, so that attempts to “contain” what was defined as “bad” and “imperfect” behavior was then associated with “respectful” conduct and that definition of “bad” behavior was grown over time.

Proverbs give verses like: “He who winks the eye causes trouble, and a babbling fool will be thrown down.” (Prov. 10:10) or “He who guards his mouth and his tongue, guards his soul from troubles.” (Prov. 21: 23)  Also one of the fruits of the Spirit is “self-control.” With humans, I acknowledge all this is especially important. If one speaks carelessly and says a falsehood or something unintentional, another human may be deceived in two ways: considering the falsehood true or mistaking the unintentional remark with as having a bad intention or meaning behind it. How could they read into what you meant? And how could they be wise enough to know wrong from right if you speak something as truth? Therefore, it IS important to “bridle the tongue” as James speaks about in order to avoid the important weight of words (yes words are very influential whether you mean them to be or not) influencing for the wrong. But don’t mistake a young spirit for non-self-control.

Timothy says “Let no one look down on…youthfulness.” (1 Tim. 4:12) A youthful innocent, pure spirit is a praise-worthy trait in a person. But lack of consideration, immaturity in the way of attitude (which results in certain actions) and such is not righteous.

With God, though, I also realize, unlike limited humans, He has full knowledge of your past, present, and future, of your innermost being and all that it contains, He is your designer, He knows the effects sin has on His perfect creation and what that means, He is filled with love, despite all this, and acceptance and grace. He never misunderstands but fully understands. He never criticizes (but rebukes of course, as He should) but acknowledges imperfections and has grace and even, I personally believe, joy in the midst of imperfections, knowing that though there are all these imperfections, He has created something truly wonderful and is proud of. So the imperfections, in the end, dim in what He sees compared to the beauty of what He sees.

So with God, containment is unnecessary. He understands if you blabbered something foolish unintentionally, if you show that rather embarrassing, casual, natural side of you and He does not misunderstand or become impatient but rather smiles and simply knows. Knows what even you and I don’t know or comprehend.

And so, I accept my imperfections and show respect to God but not by the human-applicable definition of respect. And as I have “oops” moments with imperfections or speak rather casually and comfortably with God (at times, though I do believe in formal times with bowing and showing not only in mind but body of respect and reverence to God) not bothering to fall on my knees every time I submit a prayer to Him or decide to speak and share with Him in conversation, I am certain He accepts this and even smiles.