Pictures from God: Surpassing Greatness

            Eph. 1:18-19

“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you may know…what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe.”

I read that today and a hard time with it. And one main problem arose in my mind that I struggled with:

If God chooses to give that to me, what would that look like in my life? What does that look like in the lives of others who have chosen to believe? I think of “great” people and I think of course of Paul who changed so many lives through his works. He was great. But what about those who in history and today do not receive much credit for their greatness? Maybe they are great but their greatness is not celebrated famously. Is that still “great?”

            In my life, I realized recently, as I’ve been discussing with God, my need for confirmation in order to feel successful or noteworthy, inspiring, great, etc… So much so that it is hard for me be satisfied or enjoy anything, private or public, if I am not confirmed by at least one person (preferably more) in the area. Recently it has been with composing. I write something and even if I finish it and really finish it after some editing, I am still not quite satisfied. I try to voice my emotions/thoughts over a specific thing in the piece and it pretty much comes out, but the style, that style I can hear through each song whatever it is about. And it’s my style. Unfortunately, I do not entirely like it right now. I could never really understand why, when I finished that song, I was still not satisfied with it. In fact in general I am unsatisfied with my compositions. I realized later that it is because no one has confirmed it with any adjectives like “inspiring” or “beautiful” or “unique, but good” so how can I be satisfied? (not saying this is logical) I have been confirmed in my piano playing, for instance, or my fashion and so I am satisfied and enjoy them no matter if they are successful or not.

            Apparently some part of me which is never really admitted to the larger part of me needs that confirmation. And I wish that I could enjoy something, think well of it as pleasing until to the Lord and not be unfulfilled in private or public endeavors.

            How does this apply? Well what if I am never confirmed as “great,” never truly recognized, as some aren’t. Does that make all of us middling?

            And then God said to me: “Do you have to be recognized by humans in order to be deemed ‘great’? Can you not believe I have given you this surpassing power as I have said, and believe that you have it? Many seem weak but they are strong. You know this. ‘For when [you] are weak, [you] are strong.’ (2 Cor. 12:10b) Faith is believing in what is unseen and unheard. I am teaching you another lesson of faith, and you also wanted to learn to not need confirmation for contentment in your abilities, I am teaching you that. Believe that you have greatness and My power and go forward.”

I may or may not be ever recognized for any “greatness” but faith in what He gives should sustain me. He said He would give, so He will.

So what does that look like? What if right now I am not doing anything splendid? Not raising up churches or performing miracles? (example only) Joseph was in jail for years before he ever set about God’s work actively. So was he not great while sitting in jail? Were those years wasted? No, greatness can be just pleasing and glorifying God every day, in everything you do.